On what basis do we Give?
These questions always bothers me and most times i ponder on them a lot, but we are not all the same. We all have different backgrounds, different beliefs, trained differently by different parents in different languages and even the society, schools and other smaller groups has impacted us differently; and of course we are different in the way we react, think, priorities, goals and the list goes on.
So what inspired this article?
The other day was my birthday(smiles) and I decided to just shut down on almost everything that a lot of people would do on their day by not informing anyone, expecting nothing but most importantly thanking my Creator(GOD) because He has been faithful, 2020 is indeed a year of survival and trust me “This God I serve” has never neglected me, my family, friends and everyone I know.
So back to it, unlike some persons would do, probably plan a little or big birthday celebration or maybe do something special for themselves just to mark that new age, while their friends/family may surprise them one way or the other.
I did none of that cause I didn’t want to and I only felt like being thankful to God; plus a lot of people are going through tough times as a result of the pandemic which they’ve not been able to totally overcome, it won’t be nice to add to their tough times (when there are more birthdays to celebrate in the future in a glamorous style).
A lot of people were not happy that I didn’t inform them, while some others understood perfectly well why I did want it that way and respected i; But there is something we sometimes misinterprets.
During a discussion with someone, i briefly talked about my birthday just cause of the date/time and this fellow concluded it was a plan, which is NOT and He almost made/spark my reaction “That We Planned Something On That Day” (Wetin be we?
And who be the we?) and my normal self would literally dish out something spicy cause that same person ended up adding “You’re Not A Good Person” (Wow), but I said Thank You just to end the conversation, it’s my birthday and I didn’t want any form of negativity or being upset at anything or anyone). But trust me, a cold wind passed through my spine and I tried to understand, digest and break things down as to why “Someone would just conclude a talk as a plan.
Okay he thought it’d be nice to probably take me out on my day so I’d feel special or something related which I turned down cause I didn’t feel like going nowhere or doing nothing, and I expected him to understand or better ask for clarification, but NO, the conclusion came in that “I Am Not A Good Person.
So here comes the questions;
On what basis do we Give?
Here’s my opinion
Giving should be done to meet a Need, you do that from your heart to meet an obvious need noticed by you in someone else and of course we can give in different ways, if you can’t figure out what the person need or may like, why don’t you seek a way to stop stressing yourself by gifting them cash to get what they want, they know what their Needs.
Imagine getting an hungry man clothes from a boutique just because you noticed he’s wearing rags and you won’t want him to look shabby around you; or taking someone to go see a movie and possibly eat popcorn on their birthday (which may cost 3k or more in total) when that person can make wise use of it to probably get food that’s last for 3-5days; or going for vacation, when the person has a pressing need that snatches their smiles every hour?
Sometimes we need to be intentional in doing things and ask questions, if whatever were having in mind to do is what the person would like, then It’s Fine, go ahead.
Don’t do what you assumed would be good, it might look good in your eyes and not the person you’re doing it for, we all have priorities and it would be much appreciated if we met someone’s need instead of seeking/glorifying ourselves that we did this or that for someone(Yeah, I’ve heard people boast about the fact that they’re the first person to take one on a vacation).
Please keep it, if you can’t meet a need in someone’s life whenever you’re moved to do something for that person. Ask questions and if the person is too shy to say what they want, gift them cash( you’re saving an individual from inner tears that you don’t know).
No matter how little the amount may be that you gifted the person, for the fact that the person knows what He/She wants, they’d meet that need with whatever you’ve given them and be happy, remember a prayer made from a merry heart goes a long way for the person prayed for.
Jacob snatched the Blessing of Esau by giving a sweet meal to their father whom poured out his heart in blessing him.
Make someone happy by meeting a Need, if you must do something for them on their special day.